And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
