Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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