for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
