One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
