So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
