also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I got her a Nickelback box set.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize