Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
