I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize