I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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