that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize