"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
