I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
