Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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