don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
