my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
