my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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