it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
