I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
