yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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