Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
