We're facebook friends in real life
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sacagawea was the original milf.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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