so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
