I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
