apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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