i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He has the fingertips of a God
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
