keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
