i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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