Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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