her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
