why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize