I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
