We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
