On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
