Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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