how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
