so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
