Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize