It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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