Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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