New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
there was a trapeze. enough said
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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