I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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