I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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