The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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