i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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