Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Shame - the story of my life.
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