lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
