It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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