New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize