the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
