About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
