i just made my gag reflex go away.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
