I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
