Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
