i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
