Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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