we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
