Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
