they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
