OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
