This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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