No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize