There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
