thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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