girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
wow bdsm is so cute
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
