Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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