i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
