Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
